Finally! A word about gnomes.
It’s in my title, and it’s about time I show some respect.
Over the years I have concluded that the sometimes controversial concept of garden gnomes is a bit like the smell of new mulch. You either love it or you run away. When I mention the name of this site or when someone visits our tiny garden, I have found that there isn’t a lot of in-between in one’s fondness towards these little buggers. Over the past few years, I have written many thousands of words about all things gardeny. From pruning to paving and any epiphany that pops into my brain. Some may have been wondering “Just where are the gnomes on this A Home for Your Gnome platform?” For those who believe in truth in advertising, this writing is for you! If you hate gnomes, see ya next week.
Though quite small in stature and extremely elusive, gnomes can prove to be either a welcomed addition or a disrupting annoyance to any homeowner. Which of these often depends on that person’s relationship to nature. If one treads lightly and tries to be a good steward of the place she calls home, she may wake one morning to find a certain garden task left undone the day before magically complete with all seeds sown, mulched, and watered. If, on the other hand, there is a person who tends to try to dominate the landscape with excessive chopping of trees or spreading of chemicals, he may find that the next time his weed sprayer is taken down from the shelf, its nozzle is mysteriously clogged with a small rock or pine tar.
First, it may be helpful to make a few simple but important distinctions about gnomes. Just like us, there are many varieties. One thing they don’t want to be is lumped in or confused with their counterparts; dwarves, elves, woodland nymphs, trolls, goblins, or ogres. So here are a few differences to put in your noggin:
Farm Gnome
It’s probably a safe assumption to believe that farm gnomes get along well with critters. While all gnomes are vegetarians, they understand the importance of animals when it comes to getting work done and raising crops. These guys know their way around the milking barn, hen house, and pumpkin patch. They’re pretty easy going probably since there is so little chance of interaction with humans.
City Gnome
On the flip side of the farm gnome, City gnomes are just fine with catching a lift on the bumper of an Uber and have no problem sneaking between tall, human legs to catch the elevator rather than having to hustle up steps that are half as big as they are. Since all gnomes need a nature fix, the urban variety does its best to nestle in somewhere near a park.
Some City Gnomes landing themselves in a bit of hot water.
House Gnome
While you would think house gnomes would be easy to spot, their ability to blend in with stuffed animals and typical household clutter along with their nocturnal tendencies make just the opposite the case. House gnomes can be especially helpful to friendly families. It’s not unusual for someone who has had a stressful day at the office to come home and find the little dust bunnies occupying kitchen floor corners to be cleaned up and the fireplace cleaned. If on the other hand, you are not a very pleasant person to be around and have a tendency to treat others disrespectfully, you may have trouble logging into your home office computer as the password may have been changed.
Arctic Gnome
These characters can be a bit surly. Perhaps it has to do with how hard they must work in very cold climates to find or raise food but they tend to be a tad larger than other gnomes and when crossed they typically occupy their time trying to get revenge. Best to avoid these characters altogether.
Woodland Gnome
In a well-designed garden, these crafty characters love to find and inhabit those little niches and pockets that the average garden visitor overlooks. Although they have especially good night vision, for the rest of us, a bit of additional lighting is appreciated (which I’ve written about in a past post). As with any living thing, even camels, Garden gnomes will need water so you may want to plan for this as your garden takes shape.
So, there you have it. A very basic primer on gnomes! For those who have turned up their noses at the smell of this new mulch, (I’m sure I’ve lost them long ago) I’ll return soon with more grand gardening advice.
Even gnomes know how to prioritize!